Aftershocks...ripple effects...

It's been almost four years since he passed away.  I've rebuilt my life, bought a nice house in town, taking care of my dogs that I've always wanted, raising my son to the best of my ability, in a relationship with a nice man....decided to start school again.  I started CNA school and am enrolled in college for the fall.  My daughter is expecting twins...my first grandbabies.  I can't tell you how excited I am and how scared I am too!  I want to be there to help her..I want to live close by...so I decided to move.  This decision wasn't an easy one.  There are so many things involved.  I had to make a choice to get rid of two of my babies.  This is the hardest part...they leave today and it breaks my heart because I feel like I've let them down, I'm letting myself down and I'm letting my son down.