Another sleepless night!

I was awake again most of the night. It's 5:30 a.m. As 2:30 approached I was thinking how my world feels shattered and I have to for sanity's sake go around and pick up the pieces. This is no easy task. I'm lost, wandering around in the dark...yet another thought occurred to me...you have to walk through the darkness in order to see the light. I thought about writing this on Facebook, but then I remembered I have a blog! Lucky you! ha ha! I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I was tired and I knew I'd be more tired this morning, but I could not fall asleep, the last time I looked at the clock I had thirty minutes to go before the alarm went off. It was then, and only then that I started to drift into a dream state. I remember this, so I know it wasn't a deep sleep. Just as I knew it would happen, my alarm went off and I forced myself to get out of bed.
I made my cup of coffee and here I am!

Although I'm tired, just sharing that little bit with you has made me feel better. I don't know how many of you have had the love of your life pass away, but I assure you it is pure hell and I would not want anyone to have to go through this. But, never the less it is a fact of life and here I am. It's not to say that I would want my or bring my loved one back...only if he were healthy and whole, but not in the condition in which he left this world.

To New Beginnings

Okay, so it is a new year...fall term has ended...winter term has begun. To those of you who attended college, you know that means homework, homework and more homework! I don't really mind the homework on the most part. It just means I am busy and busy is good!
I am trying to rebuild my life after losing my beloved husband, soul mate, friend. It hasn't been easy, holidays, birthday, the first year...one would think it gets easier and in some ways it does. On the most part though a part of me died the day he died. I feel the loss everyday, but nether the less I forge forward into my new life. I know he would be proud of me. I have overcome fears and persevered! I learned to drive a school bus and do that part time and that alone would make most weak in the knees. Learning to drive the bus isn't the only thing that is important...one must know what roads to take, the condition of those roads (looking out for dips, pot holes, tree branches, etc), watching for the kids you must pick up and learning where to drop those kids off in the afternoon, and of course keeping your eyes on the kids too! I am enjoying it and could only hope they'd put those great mirrors on all the vehicles on the road! lol