I was awake again most of the night. It's 5:30 a.m. As 2:30 approached I was thinking how my world feels shattered and I have to for sanity's sake go around and pick up the pieces. This is no easy task. I'm lost, wandering around in the dark...yet another thought occurred to me...you have to walk through the darkness in order to see the light. I thought about writing this on Facebook, but then I remembered I have a blog! Lucky you! ha ha! I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I was tired and I knew I'd be more tired this morning, but I could not fall asleep, the last time I looked at the clock I had thirty minutes to go before the alarm went off. It was then, and only then that I started to drift into a dream state. I remember this, so I know it wasn't a deep sleep. Just as I knew it would happen, my alarm went off and I forced myself to get out of bed.
I made my cup of coffee and here I am!
Although I'm tired, just sharing that little bit with you has made me feel better. I don't know how many of you have had the love of your life pass away, but I assure you it is pure hell and I would not want anyone to have to go through this. But, never the less it is a fact of life and here I am. It's not to say that I would want my or bring my loved one back...only if he were healthy and whole, but not in the condition in which he left this world.
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